A concerned friend once asked me if I was abandoning them. To which I replied "No". Then she sincerely stated that my friends would always be standing there waiting and supporting me. To which I ignorantly stated, "its not that they have left without me, it was the other way around".

This particular incident has probably left our friendship scarred and is probably beyond repair, yet still the problem persists and have left me wondering for days.

After a few days of brooding over this distasteful matter, I finally figured, it was neither them leaving me nor me leaving them. Its just that, I've simply stopped moving, stopped without noticing they went ahead. Yet with all my short sightedness, they still noticed and called for me, it seems I really did made a wrong move this time.

Still, I do not regret what I did or felt. No, regret is for losers, I knew I had to take a step back, needed to rearrange my life again. But still, I have let my friends down, that much is true, what can I do to bring them back up again...

Hope...

Sorrow... A word for disappointment, for despair. A feeling non-too-appreciated and even less welcomed.

Sorrow brings reality under a vivid spotlight.

Tears usually accompany sorrow. A person once told to me that tears happens when a soul is so filled with sadness and pain that when there is no where else to go, it just flows out of a person in the form of tears...

Yet, without sorrow, how can there be true happiness? How can one truly feel alive and happy and appreciate happiness without sorrow?

Ah...

Defination of self. How do distinguish any1 from every1 else? Is there even such a thing? Do I have to act a certain way or speak a specific style to actually be me?

Are we as humans, moulded out of earth? Crafted from stone? Are we not capable of change, of accepting changes and appreciating changes? Is it not possible to be the same person inside out and yet act differently or should I say, have a new perspective?

Change can come in 2 forms, good and bad. But who are we to judge a person's change as good or bad? Only by our own perception do we judge a person accordingly.

Whats right and whats wrong?

This simple questions have left most people with a feeling of bitter defeat.

Is something right because the society says so? And is something wrong because it is not practiced by the majority?

I truly believe there is nothing that is truly right or certain wrong. There is only... Perception.

Life, this single word seems to slap me across the face everytime. What's life?

Is it reality or is it fantasy?

Personally, it think it is a little of both, a world devoid of anything, that's life. The hard cruel truth, life is NOTHING.

Well, as much of nothing as it seems though, it is us through living, that creates life. It is simply, what we do, what we yearn to do, how we see the world around us, and what we accomplish that makes life, Life.

However, Life to me is simply just fantasy, fantasy tampered with a touch of reality. Life is everything and anything as I can view it. When life falls into despair, it is only through the limits of our mind that limits how we view life. Life is eternal and infinite, let naught the limitations of our limited mind hold us down. Spread the wings of imagination and thought and SOAR!

Family is a domestic group of people (or a number of domestic groups), typically affiliated by birth or marriage. (Wikipedia)

Family, a simple word yet one who hold a special meaning never to be taken lightly, a word that is taught to each and every one of us from young. A symbolism of the unique and irreplaceable bond that is shared between those of the young and the old, those who share the same blood or even those that just simply take comfort with those they cannot do without.

Yet somehow, this single word weighs heavier with each passing day of this single week on my shoulders. With every passing min, every passing hour and of course, every passing day, it seems I will be driven into the ground sooner or later and yet, the freaky thing is, I can’t seem to wait for that inevitable day to come, the day I’m driven over the edge.

Times I ask, do I like for the sake of living, or do I live to find out for what do I live and then there is, do I live just to find out what the next second will bring?

Times I ask this, and timeless more I shall…

Sometimes I think to myself, is it really worth it? Times when people could only see me for what I appear to be, there is more to me I have to say, the happy-go-lucky side wherein every can always find a lame joke.

It seems, I may appear too much of a clown, too much of an insensitive jerk to others now, so is it worth it I wonder, where times I get misunderstood for decision that would indeed put me in a dilemma, but why then are my friends not able to see past just that. That fickle exterior I have that makes those around me smile at times, or comforted in other.

Am I so naïve, so insensitive, so utterly shallow that you are able to perceive for what I am and predict what I am going to do? I do wonder indeed…

Ahh!!! TODAY was a GREAT day again!!! Arg, I'm too optimistic for my own good, I was able to find a pri school friend of mine (whom I fancied). Then, I was able to good long and HIGHLY interesting chat with a great friend (another best bud) of mine~!~!

And AS IF thats not all, I had supper with my secondary school FRIENDS!! Best bud and his bro and another great friend!!

We chatted about stuffs and everything but it seemed like I was too dominating on the chatting part, I just couldn't stop!! Being so far away and so long from them, I just HAD to fill them in with what's up and what's not!! Ah well, I hope they understand!!

Their KEWL and yea...!!!

Thanks guys for making my day!! :)

Man... Guess it was a freakishly LONG time since I posted, there's like THOUSANDS of things to add...

First I had a G.R.E.A.T time at the chalet!! Like SUPER DUPER UBER F.U.N!!! With my best bud, Ethan, Crazy gals Mich and Shi Hui and of course, everyONE else!!!

The 1st day was super great like everything, we had a SUCCESSFUL barbecue with 80% of the people turning up, also our faciliators turned up!! Namely Miss Liu and Ting, surprise SURPRISE ;) Miss Liu also brought her fiance along, and he was really into it and all and was an all-round great guy. Oh yea!! Ashyraf had his BIRTHDAY BASH and had to POLE DANCE for us, he got the MOVES man!

And then and then... We had NIGHT CYCLING!!! Man, it was like 10 FREAKING years since I last rode a bike and I thought I forgot how to cycle, ah well, I could always relearn it if I forgot, anyhoos, I HAD to enjoy as much as I can while it last.. So till then, I just couldn't stop peddling!!
We conquered everything in our path from PASIR RIS to BEDOK!!! Nah, it isn't as great as it sounds and wasn't as fun as it could be, we had to keep stopping because of the numerous traffic lights we encountered during our journey but all in all, it was FUN.

And THAT was only the first day~

The 2nd day was like BOREDOM!!!! No seriously, HUGE boredom, and it was HOT too, all I could remember doing during the morning/afternoon was playing with a kitty and sleeping. Oh yea, Gary snores... Well, the main event was during the evening when we were gonna "sabo" Michlelle for her birthday, and yea... We got into the action and bombarded her with water balloons, and I bringing in the main stuff, FLOUR we were gonna make a dough outta her~ But guess what... The flour didn't came out all at once and I had to keep shaking it over her, about the 3rd shake or so, she SNATCHED it from me!! Lo and BEHOLD the girl is ARMED!!! AH!! The rest quickly retreated into the chalet leaving me to tug-o-war the flour packet with Mich, man... and when I realise I was fighting a losing battle and wanted to retreat... They LOCKED me out!!! ah!!!

We had to climb into the chalet over a wall, (reminds me of humpty dumpty) then we TERRORISED the rest of the chalet, all in all, we gave the chalet a bath ;)

ah well, the tales of my childhood~

I had a good time chatting with Ethan in the night about stuffs, and he actually was able to lull me into sleep, with Gary sleeping at my side, it was a FEAT indeed!!


Wish you were there, no really~!
Pass the fun around haha!!