Masks.. I'm sure every1 has them... Every1 wears them.
Some probably has lesser of a collection than most.
Every1 treats people around them differently according to different criteria they live by, or different situations, no?
Me, I keep masks more than most.. Me, I disappoint others more than most.. Me, I fear I lose myself to myself.
After all, isn't the greatest lies told when you start believing in them?
Therefore, the fear of a Master of Disguise is to lose himself to his disguise.
I'm not sure I truly understand what I'm trying to convey here... Maybe you readers will get it more than I do.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I figured, most people when feeling lonely and sad will normally seek company from others. Thinking back, the feeling of sorrow and loneliness is not unknown to me however; I seldom seek company from others, in fact, I normally close myself off totally instead.
I can never picture myself confiding in another person.
One: The other person probably would never care anyway.
Two: The act of opening myself to another person about my personal stuff is ALIEN to me.
Occasionally I do indulge myself in the fantasy that I can sit beside a specific other, leaning onto that person and take in everything in that magical moment.. Then again, that's a fantasy!
Other times, when fates allow; I chance upon people that actually deem me worthy enough to share a part of their lives with, to that I am grateful and revel in their trust, however sometimes all I just want to do is throw myself at them on their darkest hour, hug them and comfort them. Yet, I can't bring myself to do that, in respect to not invading in their private space.
I still struggle, wondering if that's so wrong, or if I'm doing the right thing.
Struggle.
I can never picture myself confiding in another person.
One: The other person probably would never care anyway.
Two: The act of opening myself to another person about my personal stuff is ALIEN to me.
Occasionally I do indulge myself in the fantasy that I can sit beside a specific other, leaning onto that person and take in everything in that magical moment.. Then again, that's a fantasy!
Other times, when fates allow; I chance upon people that actually deem me worthy enough to share a part of their lives with, to that I am grateful and revel in their trust, however sometimes all I just want to do is throw myself at them on their darkest hour, hug them and comfort them. Yet, I can't bring myself to do that, in respect to not invading in their private space.
I still struggle, wondering if that's so wrong, or if I'm doing the right thing.
Struggle.
Monday, May 07, 2007
kae! 2nd blog is OUT!!!!!
go to: zanfart.blogspot.com
i'm sure you caught the wit in that URL.. but for those that didnt...
zanfar ---> zanFART
FART!!! gah~ k, lame i know, still fun nontheless :D
so for people that are interested in funny weird stuffs --> zanfart.blogspot.com
for people interested inthoughts from sappy ole' me --> zanfar.blogspot.com
lets start anew.. gah!!
go to: zanfart.blogspot.com
i'm sure you caught the wit in that URL.. but for those that didnt...
zanfar ---> zanFART
FART!!! gah~ k, lame i know, still fun nontheless :D
so for people that are interested in funny weird stuffs --> zanfart.blogspot.com
for people interested inthoughts from sappy ole' me --> zanfar.blogspot.com
lets start anew.. gah!!
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