Hmmm... It seems that I have not updated in a long while, although I yearn to write in an upilfting and livening manner, fate has deemed it otherwise..

Personally, I believe that a person cannot ever claim to truly understnad another person, one can only COME to understand the other or through experience can relate with another person. Why do I state this? Because no matter how predictable a person can be, he/she is nevertheless, human. Such that we aren't programs, we cannot truly be understood with codings or such. Humans can never understand humans because we stand on the same level, our brains, souls and heart are at the human level. Truly if I was to relate, it'll be like we can understand programs and computer in ways of simple decyphering codings and prgorammings. Computers and programs can't understnad each other, so if one was to be able to truly understand the concept of the human brain, that will be our creator.

On a lighter note, I went out to play pool these few days, it seems my life has stopped and continues to revolve around the pool and my pityful circle of friends. Truly it seems that I degenerating from the person called Jimmy back to the person I was before. Somehow it disgusts me and yet at the same time, blissful. Degeneration itself is not a pretty process and yet, inevitable (in my eyes) I do wonder, how was I even able to make, keep and maintain such precious people. Even though we have our ups and downs, I was really pleasantly surprised and pleased that we were able to come this far, close and find faults in the other and overlook these faults! It's love I tell ya, it's love...

Still, mentally I am throughly exhausted (not in the sense of being tired but the other meaning) it seems I am nearing my end, I do wonder how long can I last, how long can I hold out. I have so much to say, so much to pour out, so much and yet... As ever, my heart is able to find enough space to keep it all in. I need someone to tell me that its all nothing, its just a simple problem if I view it differently and yet, I know it isn't possible.I hope for much and I wish for more. I do wonder at times, if by allowing myself to make such good friends, have I allowed myself to grow weak and dependent on them. I was able to understand and cope with all these before and I continue to believe that I am able to do it all over again.

PL0204... You were probably the best thing that ever happened to me since I truly existed and may prove to be a curse yet. I do mean everything, from laughter to tears, each and every moment I treasure, especially the laughter :)